how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
