i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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