This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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