lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
im on a boat
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