don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We're too hungover to prance.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
