Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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