well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
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