Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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