I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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