Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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