Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize