she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The adults are the big ones right?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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