NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
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Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
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Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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