Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
