everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
