Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Dick very happy bro
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
