She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
