Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
