I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
