Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
