she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
