life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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