why im i the only drunk person in the library?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
