I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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