i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
