Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
