On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
