I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
