i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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