And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
