I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
