He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
