drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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