i can't believe i had my finger in that
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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