it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
