I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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