so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
