This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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