If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
