I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
