I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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