Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
