i always forget guys have bellybuttons
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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