I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
