thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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