I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
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Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
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Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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