Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
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Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
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He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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