Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i love accidental penises.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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