there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
