my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
