She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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