If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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