We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
