in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
