24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
