I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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