Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
