there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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