Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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