Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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