im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
