I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
