I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
