That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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